Does Your Husband of 16 Years Leave His Shoes on the Floor? KICK THAT MOTHERFUCKER TO THE CURB!

I recently saw an article that makes me sick to my stomach titled "She's happily married, dreaming of divorce." And it's about a "Mid-Wife Crisis" and it was spread to the readers of Oprah's magazine and tries to make divorce seem trendy, and almost eludes to the fact that people who stay married to the same person are doing it because they are undesirable or cowards.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/08/26/o.divorce.dreams/index.html

Can you imagine if a guy wrote an article about getting sick of a woman that isn't attractive and divorcing her? People would hang him by his thumbs! To summarize the article basically her husband wakes her up with, "good morning" every morning, buttons his shirt wrong, and leaves his shoes in the hall. But since women are attractive for longer, she should be able divorce and try again. My take is that: you are an independent woman that can do anything you want, but your husband needs to be making you happy? The whole deal with "independence" is that you get freedom sacrificing dependency on others... Am I wrong? Here are some actual excerpts from the article:

"I contemplate divorce every day. It tugs on my sleeve each morning when my husband, Will, greets me in his chipper, smug morning-person voice, because after 16 years of waking up together, he still hasn't quite pieced out that I'm not viable before 10 a.m."

BOIL HIM IN OIL! This sums up the article really well if you don't want to read it, you can just look at this and see the kind of article it is. I'm sorry but I can think of worse things than someone saying "good morning" to you. In fact, I want people to say good morning to me, that would really put a good start to my fucking day. I am serious; please do tell me good morning! I can't even picture the kind of person who would think that that was a divorce worthy trespass...

"Nor is Will the Very Bad Man that I've made him out to be. Rather, like every other male I know, he is merely a Moderately Bad Man, the kind of man who will leave his longboat-sized shoes directly in the flow of our home's traffic so that one day I'll trip over them, break my neck, and die, after which he'll walk home from the morgue, grief-stricken, take off his shoes with a heavy heart, and leave them in the center of the room until they kill the housekeeper. Everyman."

I guess this makes me a moderately bad man, obviously Ellen Tien has never done anything bad ever. I know a girl that got her fucking puppy stabbed by her bipolar boyfriend and she's still thinking about marrying him when he gets out of jail. I would consider that guy a "bad guy" and so leaving shoes on the floor hardly even seems in the same LEAGUE to me.

"But we, we with our 21st-century access to youth captured in a gleaming Mason jar with a pinked square of gingham rubber-banded over the top, we are still visually tolerable if not downright irresistible when we're 30 or 35 or 40. If you believe the fashion magazines -- which I devoutly do -- even 50- and 60-year-olds are (lick finger, touch to imaginary surface, make sizzle noise) pretty hot tickets."

I would love to see the fate you have in store for yourself when you put your divorce-for-fun shit to practice at 50 or 60. I don't see how this is any different from a man saying he is going to dump his wife because he could get a hotter, younger wife because he makes enough money to.

"We were groomed to think bigger and better -- achievement was our birthright -- so it's small surprise that our marriages are more freighted. Marriage and its cruel cohort, fidelity, are a lot to expect from anyone, much less from swift-flying us. Would we agree to wear the same eyeshadow or eat in the same restaurant every day for a lifetime? Nay, cry the villagers, the echo answers nay. We believe in our superhood. We count on it."

WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? What the hell did you do for the women's empowerment movement, aside from this piece of bullshit? So you're too good to sleep with one guy for the rest of your life? That's that same old hook all frat guys say about women... when they are retarded frat guy douches. You are a grown-ass woman, don't you find any solace in coming home to a warm hearth?

"No. Your husband is not your best friend. Your best friend is your best friend. If your husband were your best friend, what would that make your best friend -- the dog? When a woman tells me that her husband is her best friend, what I hear is: I don't really have any friends."

No, you're wrong, you see your husband would be your best friend if you didn't view him like he's some kind of court jester that needs to amuse you all the time. It's a two way street, unless you take at least some responsibility for it you are going to be miserable in any marriage.

"I recently stood by as a clothing designer, a mother in her 40s, announced to a group of women that she was divorcing her husband. The women's faces flickered with curiosity, support, recognition, and -- could it be? -- yearning. Not a one of us suggested that she try harder to make it work. No voice murmured, 'What a shame.'"

I'm glad you have friends as shallow and petty as you, but sometimes divorce needs to happen, but it isn't like when your friend gets a puppy and then you get one. You can really devastate someone, and children almost inevitably have blame transference on themselves. I hope if I ever get married that I don't wind up with a bitch like this, it's like her husband is a purse or something and he is going out of style so he gets tossed in the trash. I just wish I could make Ellen Tien walk a mile in my shoes, I tanked the only interview I've had in 4 months, drove by a sprinkler with my window open, then my fuel line busted, and you know how I'll be wrapping my day up? Sleeping in a cold bed by myself thanking God that the gas from my ruptured fuel line didn't make me explode. I WISH MY MOTHERFUCKING PROBLEM WAS TRIPPING OVER SHOES AND GETTING A GOOD MORNING... Freakin' bitch.