I Just Got Back From the Rap Game and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

There is something wrong with America, and I'm not talking like there is a group of people or a trend breaking apart the fabric of America. I'm talking about like if America was personified as a human being (who would likely look kind of like Uncle Sam but maybe a little younger, I mean it would be his nephew) well if I saw that guy, he'd be looking a little down in the dumps, long in the face, like a rolling stone with no moss gathered under him. Okay that last phrase I turned, I'll be honest I really don't know what it means. But back to the point, America is sad, and I'd be like, "why so blue America?" And America would say to me "Ah, it's nothing I just saw this bullshit on the Internet, fucked up my whole day, here take a look:" Almost as if he somehow knew I'd be able to post it right after he said that.



If you want to get further nauseated you can look at some of his other Alvin and the Chipmunks-esque early 90's ebonic gibberish as he brandishes his BB gun. I think he is sort of confused, kids and maybe even young adults may sort of fear him because he's a pain in the ass little kid with a BB gun... and honestly who wants to get shot with a BB gun. So he thinks he is one of these people he sees all the time on the TV, telling him to cut corners and perfect his rap game, sling dope and he can have all the success he needs. You hear conspiracy theories all the time, the government engineered A.I.D.S., introduced crack to urban communities, etc. If "The Man" really wanted to keep us down he wouldn't be framing O.J. the real idea is way more sinister.

Sell people the image that says, "drop out of school, work on your rhymes, you'll make more than your teachers as soon as you break into the rap game." You see it on 8 Mile, you go through like 4 hours of trials and tribulations and all of a sudden you light up someone in an MC battle and Dr. Dre parachutes in from the sky with a record contract. There are some exceptions like Nas and Lupe Fiasco, but for the most part education is considered as gangster as wetting the bed. I have always hated Kanye West, even before it was cool, even before he said Bush doesn't care about black people (as if it was his idea to send the hurricane there). His mother, the chair of Chicago State's English department, was pretty much was able to put Kanye through college, but he still dropped out. He even named his album "The College Dropout" as if it's something to be proud of. Can you even imagine how many people dream of being able to go to college? And for that matter, I think that before a celebrity tries to wax intellectual (especially about politics), they should be required to have a for real college degree; not one of those bullshit honorary degrees either. Not to say that all honorary degrees are bullshit, but the ones they give to celebrities are. Do you know what happens to uneducated idiots that sit around waiting for a record contract?



I hope you're happy Kanye West, you made this... He might as well put your name on the credits. I know what you're wondering what hardcore hood is this coming out of? Manistee, Michigan; you may have heard of it, there was this one time when this one dude ripped this girl's heart out for no reason. But if you want to cry you can visit this guy's Myspace page and see all the "please sign me to a record label" things strewn about the page. You know, I will never again give ICP props on anything but I will on this. I was watching an interview with them and they were saying how Eminem got discovered but they never did, and they worked hard and made their own label. But it's obvious that most people are just content to wait for P. Diddy's limo to break down in Bumfuck, Michigan and wait for him to have a tear well up in his eyes and say, "my God, what is that enchanting sound? Such amazingly innovative flows, hath an angel fallen to earth? Nay, it be a mortal man! I'll pay any price for it, I must have that sound, as a man so fortunate to hear these words it is my duty, nay, my obligation to share it with the world! God be praised!"



GFY means go fuck yourself? I thought it was "good for you." Well anyway, the rap game may not have gotten him on magazine covers, but it sure did get him a kick ass shirt. "I want people to come off the street and be 'oh, you're ButtaScotch Swirl, you did that music video, Ur Sucha Bitch!'" I think it's only a matter of time before that happens.