Getting by with a Little Help from my Friends...

So after ending Wednesday with a hadouken of guilt I was in a bad place. But then as Thursday wound down I got a round-house kick to the face of supportiveness from my friends, which lead to a concussion of inspiration. To date this is one of the first hiatuses that I've come out of swinging as usually that is a death sentence for any project I'm working on (R.I.P. my stand-up comedy career, Zeitgeist, 13 novels, and several Squaresoft games). It was then that I realized my duty is to the people who like my blog, and not to the people who don't like me anyway. The apology still stands, I was very much in the wrong but if she doesn't want to put down the bottle of Hateraide and join me on this side of the fence; well that's her problem. So now this is behind me. I would like to thank the many friends and family that wrote and called me yesterday telling me to keep this going! I still stand by the idea that I really don't need to trash my friends; good friends or bad, whether they read this or not. I also don't need to just put up a blog to put one up, I will try in the future to not put anything up unless it's at least compelling enough for me to think someone wants to read it.

A lot of people like the way I keep it real even if it makes me look bad; it's one of the things I think people respond well to. I'm not like a masochist though, it's more of a thing like I can either internalize this and let it tear me up, or I can release it to the world. This is not only to let it go quicker but it also makes it a funny story that I can laugh about, and hopefully make someone else laugh; by the point I usually am sharing it, I've already learned the lesson so it really doesn't do me any good but if it makes for a funny story it may cheer someone else up. And so back to not trashing friends, you may not know this but when I hurt someone's feelings I probably feel worse than they do. My art is making people happy and making people laugh (wow, this time it was Falco rolling over in his grave, I didn't see that coming).

Some people seem to have difficulties understanding what to make of the "women trouble" themed ones; they are meant to be funny so if you feel sorry for me, well that's understandable but not the intention. I know a lot of really good guys who have just as bad of a time on the singles scene as I do and so it's also kind of to help us laugh it off. But in recent days I've thought of a metaphor for dating; dating is like shopping for a house (not really in today's economy but you know like pre-bubble and pre-housing collapse). My real estate agent would take me to houses and say, "Wow this is nice," and I would say, "No I don't like it," and then she'd say, "You're right this place sucks, let's go." I was a little unsure of what to make of that but then I started to realize it's 1 part insincerity and 2 parts feeling me out. What I didn't understand was that people have different things they look for in houses; and rushing me into a house I didn't want really wouldn't benefit anyone. For instance I went into a house that was in a neighborhood that I picked out because it was close to the light rail,and it had the floors torn up and my first thought was, "Have the owners killed and burn this place to the ground for WASTING MY TIME!" (not really, I just thought it would be funny to just be super melodramatic about a house with no floors). But it sure as hell wasn't what I was looking for, I ended up selecting a condo that was already painted and designed with a unique style from all the other condos in the complex. But the house with no floors sold even quicker than the one I picked out, because some people want to redesign the house, and with the floors torn up, it just saved them a step. Some people thought it was weird I picked a house with a style that wasn't really one that said "JKon" but I wanted one that was unique. So I guess you could get all Freudian and try to figure out what I like in women by that, but I don't know if it's quite a solid enough metaphor for that. But the point is that you can get a girl that's out of your league; just like you can buy a house that is financially above your means. But why would you want to? You will probably end up putting more work into making her happy than you would just finding someone you can enjoy. And the girls that have creeped me out recently are like the houses without floors; they are probably right for someone but not me.

So this is my second housing/love metaphor I've used in my life (the other one was my best man toast). And I realized for several years I was treating women like they were lifeboats; I just had to find one and then I would be good and I would just grow to like it. Because I had a strange equation in my head, "Chicks have boobs; boobs are awesome; therefore all chicks must be awesome." But I realized recently that some chicks are so unawesome that they kind of negate the awesomeness of their boobs. So all this time I kind of thought there was something wrong with me and so I just wanted to find out what was wrong with me (which as most women will tell you is a LOT of things). But hey, there has to be someone who would find something they like about me and who knows they might like me for some of the "flaws" I have; I just haven't found her yet. And I noticed that looking for Ms. Right is kind of a wasted effort; I think I'll just know her when I find her. But I don't think that will stop me from misunderstandings, mixed messages, getting dissed, etc. that you have all come to enjoy.

ENOUGH OF THIS MUSHY SHIT! WHO WANTS TO CRASH A HALLOWEEN PARTY?!? Hahahah just kidding!