Improperly Turned Phrases...

There is just a super-nerdy pet peeve I have and that's with people misusing or improperly turning phrases. I see it all the time but hey maybe this will help people; but mostly just irritate people, and I'm okay with that. I realize that I'm damning myself to the 6th circle of nerd hell, reserved for pretentious nerds, but again this is something I must do for the good of the English language and my love of turning phrases. So away we go!

Piss and Vinegar:
What it's used to mean: You are a "firecracker" or have a strong-willed bad attitude.
How it's used: "You're full of piss and vinegar today."
The etymology even sort of changed with this one, it has sort of evolved into being like a "firecracker" or someone with a bad attitude. The actual phrase was "pith and vigor." Vigor is like strength, pith is like something has been removed (usually the brain) so what it means is strength with an absence of fear or concern. So when this used to be used pith and vigor actually meant having an attitude that nothing will stop you.

Get my Goat:
What it's used to mean: Trying to get under someone's skin.
How it's used: "I can't believe you would go to such lengths to get my goat."
You don't usually see this unless it's on like an internet forum in response to "trolling" (saying or posting something absurd in order to upset people or get into an argument). Unless it literally means to take a farm animal away from someone, this is being used improperly. The actual phrase should be, "get my goad" goad means to "egg on" or prod something. When used this way it means to provoke into action.

Rapist Wit:
What it's used to mean: A very cunning and almost sinister wit.
How it's used: "You have a rapist wit."
This was from Dumb and Dumber but I think people hear this stuff and forget where they heard it from. The actual phrase is "rapier wit" a rapier is a narrow sword usually used in fencing. So the phrase should mean like a sharp and cutting wit, like the sword.

Salmon of Capistrano:
What it's used to mean: Places where something flocks to.
How it's used: "Women flock there like the salmon of Capisrano."
Yet another Dumb and Dumber joke that creeped into our vernacular. The actual thing that this makes reference to is the swallows that migrate from San Juan Capistrano mission on October 23rd (St. John Capistrano's feast day) and returning close to his former feast day at the end of March. So you would say, "Women flock there like the swallows of San Juan de Capistrano." It's obvious that soon people will be using "mind-bottling" sometime in the next decade.

A Stitch in Time Saves Nine:
What it's used to mean (sometimes): Some people say he was talking about time travel and it some how saving nine people, or any sort of time travel and fixing the fabric of time reference.
How it's used: "Ben Franklin believed in time travel, he used to say, 'a stitch in time saves nine.'"
I have no idea who the hell people attribute this quote to, usually either Ben Franklin or Albert Einstein. It seems obvious when you think about it that it means if a stitch is coming loose patching it up early will save you from having to make 9 more stitches. But some people, I guess, had to look for a more complex interpretation.

Pavlov's Dog, Occam's Razor, etc.
What it's used to mean (sometimes): Some people tend to think it's referring to an object.
How it's used: "Who is Pavlov and why does his dog have anything to do with this?"
"Pavlov's dog" is an expression which refers to mental conditioning. Ivan Pavlov used to have a device that measured salivation in his dog. He would use a metronome to alert his dog that his food was there and eventually just the sound of the metronome cause the dog to salivate. Occam's razor is not some mythical weapon or anything it's an idea when simplified, "the simplest solution is usually the correct one." So of two theories, I lost my remote or somebody stole that and nothing else while I was at the grocery store; it's far more likely that you just lost it. So these things aren't really objects but more theories or ideas.

Roll a Character:
What it's used to mean: In class-based RPG's (yes I'm a nerd, don't bother pointing it out) starting a character.
How it's used: "I think I'm going to roll a hunter on this server."
It's strange because they nearly all usually use some sort of "roll" mechanism in order to randomize the outcome. But to "roll a character" would mean you have a chance of not being able to do it. The actual way it should be used is "I think I'm going to role a hunter on this server." To signify you are filling a role in the grand scheme of whatever.

St. Elmo's Fire:
What it's used to mean: A blue fire from the human body, used to vanquish foes and smite the wicked.
Not normally used in written or verbal communication unless it's in reference to the Emilio Estavez movie.
A lot of people think this is some supernatural blue fire thing and that it isn't real. It is in fact not fire at all, and it is very real. It's a blue electrical discharge that would materialize above the mast of a ship before, during, or after a thunderstorm. Many saw this as a positive omen that the ship would see the shore once again. Why is this on here? Because I play video games and it's always a freakin' fire elemental attack and it should be a lightning/thunder attack. Gol, IDDDDIIIOOOTSS!!! Ha, just kidding, I couldn't resist totally nerding the shit out of people! Though everything I said is actually true, I couldn't really care less if anyone besides me knew that.