It's not Who You Know; It's What You Don't

Okay so I signed up for a Business Ethics class and I saw it was being taught by a family friend, the son of one of my mom's friends. I thought oh, well there is my icebreaker right there, our parents know each other. Well the first thing he said was for us to introduce ourselves to the rest of the class and mentioning that our parents know each other was my little fun fact to share; at smaller universities they have you introduce yourself and tell something about yourself and this was it. He then said, "I hope you're not expecting any preferential treatment... I'm just joking." It sure as shit didn't sound like he was joking, I got one of those, "Oh it looks like you're upset by that" just kiddings; like if I would say if I said something to a friend that was way over the line like, "Dude, are you sure your dad isn't gay... heh... just kidding... he's a cool guy." And as for preferential treatment, in the words of Super Mario, "fuck-a-you-face," I don't even know what the fuck preferential treatment means, I had to look it up. As I am driving on bald tires, in a car that isn't safe to drive when it's sunny out, and poking my head through the open window while it's snowing because I don't have defrost because the heater coil is busted tomorrow; I will at least have one thing going for me... I can count on the fact I won't be getting any preferential treatment in a class I'm paying somewhere around $1,000. You know it's really a relief, you know I'm so super fucking famous and rich and influential and have so much clout; it is soooooo nice to know that finally I will be treated like a normal person. Thank God!

So the whole class goes by, everyone can say any dumbass thing that pops into their head and he gives them the benefit of the doubt. Every time I say something he shoots it down like an incoming missile from planet jackass. Even when we broke into our small groups he looms over me; and just says how stupid everything that I say is, and does the thing where he stops the other groups from talking just so he can explain how EVEN THOUGH THIS IS A FUCKING ETHICS CLASS SOMEHOW I AM WRONG! Yes, somehow he can explain how Ken Lay from Enron is right; but somehow you can't ever manage to find that even on some fucking parallel universe that I could be right about any one thing. My group even was pissed at me because he was zeroing in on what I said and we couldn't get any work done. One of them was like, "We are never going to get this thing done because we have no privacy." And on top of that my first two assignments were obviously solid A papers but I was getting B+'s. So I worked my ass off, three full days on this bullshit paper... B+ and he even says, "Nobody got below a 17.5 on this one, you all did great." Well I have a 17.5; now I knooooowww I am not the worst one in this class, there were like 4 people who turned it in late. Then this girl starts talking to him on one of our breaks about some figure skating competition or something and she says, "Well I kind of got screwed because I went first so I got a 5.5 from everyone." I was like, "Really? I didn't know they did that." And he chimes in, "Oh yeah, that's how I grade papers, I give someone a B+ and then if the other papers are better I grade them higher and if they are worse I grade them lower." I thought to myself, "It would suck to be that guy, because I write A papers... WAIT A MINUTE!" It all made sense, I'm the B+ guy, he wanted to go so far making sure I'm not getting preferential treatment. I was so close to bumping up my GPA to 3.75 too. And I know how my luck is I won't just get an automatic B+ on my final; he's going to do the nitpicky ass teacher thing of saying, "You didn't stay on topic so much," or "You didn't fully answer this stupid part of this question." I know that is just a hateraide teacher move, how the fuck can you stay on topic if you have to write a 5 page paper on a paragraph long case study? And as for, "You didn't answer the question fully," that is another cheap ass "I don't like you" attack because if you thing about it you can't ever fully answer any question unless it's a yes or no question. Think about it, "In the AIG scenario would it be better to use a Kant, Friedman, or Utilitarian position in this instance?" No matter what you say, I can say, "You didn't answer the question fully" or "good answer" depending how I am feeling.

Unfair teachers can suck 2 dicks at the same time for all I care.